Friday, September 3, 2010

101 Reasons I Love Scott Disick


I'll skip the apologies for not blogging. I recently read a quote on someone else's blog comments that said, "Instead of apologizing for not blogging, just delete your fucking blog." Touche.

I need to tell you all about my new hobby, because it has been a long time since someone or something entertained me this much.

Once upon a weekend, I turned on the TV to get some background noise while I showered and got ready for something or the other. I watch Chelsea Lately every night, so the TV was already on E!, and since I just turned the TV on and scooted into the bathroom, I didn't bother changing it. When I got out, "Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami" was on.

Now, I have never been a huge fan of reality TV. In most cases, I downright abhor it. Recently, however, I have warmed up to a few reality shows, mostly stuff like America's Got Talent or Last Comic Standing. "Celeb - reality" is not something I would have ever seen myself watching. But there I was, with the K's in the background, and I started picking up on little things that were going on. Then, out of nowhere I found myself sitting on the edge of my bed, half dressed, cheering Khloe on in a fight with her sister who was (at least in this case) being a massive bitch.

Normally, I would be ashamed of myself. But, after only a few episodes, a new obsession was
born, and I have NO shame about it whatsoever.

His name is Scott. Scott Disick.

Scott Disick is Kourtney Kardashian's boyfriend. He is a ridiculous human being. And I love him.

"Love" and "Scott Disick" are not things you hear in the same sentence from many people other than Kourtney. Most people hate this guy. But my stance is this: if you love to laugh, you should love this man. Plain and simple.

Here are the reasons I love Scott Disick. OK, so maybe there aren't quite 101, but they all count for more than one reason, because they are all such awesome reasons.

1. Scott Disick's sweaters

Scott Disick perpetually has a sweater draped oh-so-delicately across his dainty little shoulders. WHO DOES THAT?!?! It isn't stylish. It doesn't make him look suave. It makes him look like a douchebag, and it makes me LAUGH AND LAUGH. This, at least, I don't seem to be alone in thinking, as someone saw fit to give Scott's sweater it's own Twitter account.

2. Scott Disick's hair (see above)

Yeah, it's pretty much always slicked back like that. It makes me think of "Friends" and how Rachel's dad always gave Ross a hard time about how much product he used in his hair. "Hey, Ross, you swim here?!" Scott looks like he swims everywhere. Maybe he does. There seems to always be a pool or a beach nearby.

3. The way Scott Disick drinks water

In one episode of K&K, Scott was visited by Kris (the girls' mother). He was wearing a fluffy hotel bathrobe (which was almost a reason all it's own), and drinking a glass of water. But this was not just any glass of water. The water was chilled, but not iced, and was in a stemless wine glass. I swear I saw a lifted pinkie. During Kris' entire tearful plea that he get his act together, I couldn't stop laughing.

4. Scott Disick's Sissy Alcoholism

Nothing about alcoholism is funny. Now that we have that out in the open, leave it to this guy to make it funny. Scott is known to get wasted and make an ass of himself on a regular basis. You'd think that a guy of his timeless dignity and class would be a scotch man, or brandy even. Well, then, you'd think WRONG! What does Scott Disick drink? Here are the funniest things I have seen him get wasted on -

- Champagne
- Corona Light
- Bottles of wine stolen from Kim.

I mean, HELL. If you're going to be an alkie, at least be a man about it, you know?

5. Scott Disick's new line of self tanner

Apparently, it's like liquid sunshine. LINK

6. Scott Disick's Twitter page

Scott's Twitter page is comedy gold. It is full of replies and retweets from Scott haters with replies from the man himself. And boy does he know how to shake them off. Case in point -

"@scottdisick We all hope you fall off that roof you get drunk on"
His reply?
"Don't hate, just because your 2 poor to have a roof to jump off"

Well played, sir. Well played.

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