Thursday, December 31, 2009

Requisite End-of-the-Year/New Year Blog Post

Back when I was but a young blogger on myspace, I LIVED for the end of the year, and waited with baited breath to compose my always-epic end-of-the year blog. I would recap the happenings of my year in as vague a way as possible to protect the innocent (or the guilty...or my pride...or because being vague in myspace blogs was cool a few years ago), and then spout some hopeful schtick about the upcoming year, all the while avoiding the word "resolution", because making resolutions was like, so uncool.

Now, as a (sort-of) grown-up, I find myself drawn to stick with the tradition, but I also find myself having to bend over backwards to find the time to write it. So, here I am, at work, where I should be working, writing my New Year's Eve blog. I hope you enjoy it, because if I get fired, you may have to buy it.

Year in review:
- I have to be totally honest. I don't remember January - April. I got married in May, you see, and that was the divisor of my year. Everything leading up to May 9, 2009 was merely planning for May 9, 2009. There is, however, one notable exception...

- Valerie's bachelorette party, where I got drunker than a skunk in a distillery. I'm not saying I had alcohol poisoning, but I am saying that a trip to the ER the next day probably wouldn't have been the worst idea ever. I wasn't merely hungover after that night, I was ill. For days and days. Couldn't eat without puking. Couldn't walk without dizziness and puking. I never knew I was capable of puking that much. I think I puked at least once on TUESDAY. The party was Saturday night. Needless to say, that night ruined drunkenness for me entirely. Now, every time I get to the point just past buzzed, I get PTSD-style flashbacks and freak my shit out, drink a gallon of water and go to sleep IMMEDIATELY, if not sooner. It's kind of bullshit.

- I got married May 9. It was the most awesome, flawless, perfect, wonderful day in the history of my life. Usually, I am a walking, talking, living, breathing example of Murphy's Law in action, so this was a HUGE win. It was ominous cloudy all day, but those clouds made it nice and cool, where early May in Texas would normally already be hot and sticky. It began to rain as we drove away from the chapel. THAT was amazing.

- Went to New Orleans on our honeymoon, which was pretty much the funnest vacation EVER. We got drunk in the street, locals bought us booze, we had ridiculous amounts of sex, and rode/ate on a boat. It doesn't get much better than that.

- We had a car wreck two days before our wedding, totaling our old car. But that brought us Howard, our faithful new sidekick. He is the Kitt to my NightRider. I love that car.

- Beau got laid off. Twice. Which led to several months of poorness mid-year and, well, now.

- I got a new job that is badass. Just the sort of badass position I have long desired.

- I was finally actually diagnosed with ADHD and started seeing a therapist, which is one of the best things I have ever done for myself, easily.

- We moved into a new place that is badass. It is old and huge and awesome. Now all it needs is furniture.

That just about sums it up. As for next year, I have been thinking about what I want for myself. I haven't come up with a whole lot, and I am not going to save this blog for later, so you only get what I have so far. Suck it up and deal.

What I Want For Myself in 2010:
- I've done a lot of getting to know myself this past year, so I definitely want to keep that up.

- In that process, I really want to evaluate what my values are, and how I can most appropriately live those out. Nobody likes a hypocrite.

- I want to get what I want out of life. I want to not do what I SHOULD more than what I really want (as long as what I want is reasonable and legal, of course).

- I want to not have to worry about money as much. Thus, save.

So there you go. That's my story. I am going to go do something very important (get lunch). You enjoy your New Year, and don't pull a me, OK? Take it easy on the booze, and by that I mean don't drink enough to kill yourself, K?

Monday, December 7, 2009

How The Grinch Stole Christmas: Family version

As I may have mentioned before, I live in a bit of a wacky situation. My husband and I, our 2 cats, and my Grandmother, all live under the same roof. I am not sure how my cats feel about it, but as of right now, I am pretty sure that I am the only one in my home with any sort of Christmas cheer.

Saturday, my church held its annual Hanging of the Greens service. It is my hands down favorite church experience of the year. Everyone gets together, sings Christmas carols, and watches fun skits. Who wouldn't love that? Well, I'll tell you who. My husband. I had almost forgotten about it when I checked my Facebook to see that our minister had updated his status with a general "excited about the Hanging of the Greens tonight..." post. I smacked myself for having forgotten, and then called Mr. The Kuh, who was out getting dinner. I told him, "I totally forgot that the Hanging of the Greens is tonight, so when you get back, we're really going to have to hustle, because it starts at 6:30. He said OK. He got back; we ate; I told him I was going to get showered. He said OK. I got out of the shower and dressed, and went into the living room to tell him that he needed to go get ready. So, he got up and got in the shower. When he came out, I was standing at the mirror doing my make-up, and he said, "So, I guess you want me to go with you?"

Let's review. When we talked while he was gone getting food, I specifically said "WE" would have to hustle, to which he replied, "OK". Then, I told him he needed to go get in the shower, and he went, without confusion. He would not have done wither of those things without question if he did not think I wanted him to go with me. Furthermore, I thought, the fact that he said OK so quickly indicates to me that HE remembered, and was hoping I wouldn't. He was willing to let me miss my one of my favorite Christmas festivities just because he didn't want to go. What a douche! I thought all this in the split second before I responded with a pissy and sarcastic, "*humph* No, I guess not."

"You know I don't like this stuff!" he says.

After a short argument and a lot of whining on his part, he ended up going, but it was ruined all the same. All I could think the whole time was how deeply I was torturing him by forcing him to go.

Then, yesterday, it came time to do the Christmas decorating. While we were putting up the tree, he bitched and whined and moaned the whole damn time. After we actually got the damn thing put together, he said he was going to go take a shower. He was gone for at least one full hour. It takes my husband approximately 10 minutes to shower. I went in the bedroom to find him tinkering with his computer, "fixing it", he said. By the time he was done "fixing his computer", I was pretty much done decorating, and he went to sleep, without the slightest offer to help me clean up.

I am pretty sure that one of the bullet points on my list of reasons to get married was "so I will never have to be alone during the holidays." But when my husband refuses to participate in holiday activities without being a massive jerk, that is just as good as being alone. And I was sure as hell alone as I placed the star atop the tree last night. And that is big fat not OK.

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