Monday, December 7, 2009

How The Grinch Stole Christmas: Family version

As I may have mentioned before, I live in a bit of a wacky situation. My husband and I, our 2 cats, and my Grandmother, all live under the same roof. I am not sure how my cats feel about it, but as of right now, I am pretty sure that I am the only one in my home with any sort of Christmas cheer.

Saturday, my church held its annual Hanging of the Greens service. It is my hands down favorite church experience of the year. Everyone gets together, sings Christmas carols, and watches fun skits. Who wouldn't love that? Well, I'll tell you who. My husband. I had almost forgotten about it when I checked my Facebook to see that our minister had updated his status with a general "excited about the Hanging of the Greens tonight..." post. I smacked myself for having forgotten, and then called Mr. The Kuh, who was out getting dinner. I told him, "I totally forgot that the Hanging of the Greens is tonight, so when you get back, we're really going to have to hustle, because it starts at 6:30. He said OK. He got back; we ate; I told him I was going to get showered. He said OK. I got out of the shower and dressed, and went into the living room to tell him that he needed to go get ready. So, he got up and got in the shower. When he came out, I was standing at the mirror doing my make-up, and he said, "So, I guess you want me to go with you?"

Let's review. When we talked while he was gone getting food, I specifically said "WE" would have to hustle, to which he replied, "OK". Then, I told him he needed to go get in the shower, and he went, without confusion. He would not have done wither of those things without question if he did not think I wanted him to go with me. Furthermore, I thought, the fact that he said OK so quickly indicates to me that HE remembered, and was hoping I wouldn't. He was willing to let me miss my one of my favorite Christmas festivities just because he didn't want to go. What a douche! I thought all this in the split second before I responded with a pissy and sarcastic, "*humph* No, I guess not."

"You know I don't like this stuff!" he says.

After a short argument and a lot of whining on his part, he ended up going, but it was ruined all the same. All I could think the whole time was how deeply I was torturing him by forcing him to go.

Then, yesterday, it came time to do the Christmas decorating. While we were putting up the tree, he bitched and whined and moaned the whole damn time. After we actually got the damn thing put together, he said he was going to go take a shower. He was gone for at least one full hour. It takes my husband approximately 10 minutes to shower. I went in the bedroom to find him tinkering with his computer, "fixing it", he said. By the time he was done "fixing his computer", I was pretty much done decorating, and he went to sleep, without the slightest offer to help me clean up.

I am pretty sure that one of the bullet points on my list of reasons to get married was "so I will never have to be alone during the holidays." But when my husband refuses to participate in holiday activities without being a massive jerk, that is just as good as being alone. And I was sure as hell alone as I placed the star atop the tree last night. And that is big fat not OK.


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