Thursday, October 15, 2009

Halloween: The Sluttiest Time of the Year!

I remember Halloween as a kid. We got to take our little butts down to the Eckerd and buy the plastic sheath costume of our choice. Something like this...


I spend much of my teenage years under a wacko church rock (more on that another time), so I was in my twenties when I did a big double take and realized what Halloween becomes as an adult. All-Out-Slut-Fest.

I think I was 22 when I dressed up for Halloween for the first time since I was like, 15. When my best friend and I went to our local Party City (A STEP UP FROM ECKERD, MIND YOU!), I was taken aback to say the least. When, people, WHEN, did Halloween become an excuse for women to dress as skankily as humanly possible? Here are some classics, skankified.


Slutty Ghostbuster


Slutty Dorothy (as a Wizard of Oz fan, I find this particularly offensive)


Slutty Lil' Bo Peep (Would you show this to your children?)

Then you have your fairies. I guess you can put wings on any piece of lingerie and call it a costume.




My personal favorite, however, are those complete WTF costumes, where you are left asking others, "What is she supposed to be exactly, other than a slut?"



I won't say that I am a true Halloween purist, in that I think that a Halloween costume should always be "scary". I do think that you should at least put a little imagination into it for goodness sakes. You don't have to make it, or piece it together from thrift store, 'cause Lord Jeebus knows my lazy ass won't do that. Just...have some dignity. GOD.

On that note, here is MY costume...


And there will be a pants situation, because that lil' skirt is just not how I roll. The end.
 

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